How to Handle People Who Are Angry at You

Handling people who are angry at you can be difficult. Anger can erupt
in almost any situation: with a friend, a stranger, at home, or in
traffic. Angry confrontations can also occur at work, with coworkers,
supervisors, or customers. This is especially likely if your job
involves direct contact with the public, such as providing services or
handling money.[1] The experience may be common, but it's still
unpleasant and confusing. You can't control how the other person
reacts, but there are some strategies you can use to keep yourself
safe and control your side of the interaction


Remove yourself from a situation that feels dangerous. You may not
always have the option to outright leave an angry situation, such as a
customer shouting at you while you're working. However, if you sense
that you are in danger, leave the situation, or try to get as much
distance between you and the threat as possible.
If you are dealing with an angry person in your home or workspace, go
to a safe, preferably public, place. Avoid places without exits, such
as bathrooms. Avoid places that have items that could be used as
weapons, such as kitchens.[3]
If you are dealing with an angry customer at your job, try to keep
physical distance between you and the customer. Stay behind your
counter or stay out of arm's reach

Call for help. You have the right to remain safe. Depending on the
type and severity of the threat, you can call a friend for help. If
you feel as though you are in imminent danger, call 911 or emergency
services.
At work, call for a person of authority, such as a manager or security guard.

Take a "time out." If the situation is tense but not actively
dangerous, ask for a time out. Use an "I"-statement, such as "I need
to take 15 minutes to cool down before we talk." During this period,
do something calming to get a handle on your own emotions and give the
other person time to cool down. Meet back at a specified place and
time to discuss the issue.[6]
Always use "I"-statements when calling for a time-out, even if you
believe the other person is entirely to blame for the situation.
Saying "I need a little time to think" may disarm the angry person,
rather than putting him or her on the defensive.
Avoid accusative statements, such as "You need to take a time-out" or
"Chill out." Even if you feel these are true, they will put the other
person's defenses up and could make him or her even angrier.
Don't be afraid to call for another time-out if the other person is
still hostile or angry. Ideally, both of you will do something to calm
and soothe you during the time-out.
If a few time-outs have still not allowed the other person to calm
down, consider suggesting that you wait to discuss the issue until you
can have a neutral third party present. This could be a therapist, HR
representative, spiritual figure, etc.

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